The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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