is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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