I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need a beard to bite.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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