How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
