So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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