Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
