I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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