I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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