I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
