Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
