fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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