Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
