...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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