Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
