Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we have officially lost it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
