Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
