i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize