Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
