That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
