She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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