shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
