Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize