Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm gonna have a badass scar
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
