I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
