Where is the hickey?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
