at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
