You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
