she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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