So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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