ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
