It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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