I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
