the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
