Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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