Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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