omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
