Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
