Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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