So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
