So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
