How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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