I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize