Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
