Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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