Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
