normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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