I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
