thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
