I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
