Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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