I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
