If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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