No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
