my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
