Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
