Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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