Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
