WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
