Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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