White coat. Heels.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
