is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
