Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
