She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
