Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We have so much sex to catch up on
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
