Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
