apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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